You can hear the fog horns down Niagara street at the end of the pier, and a bit of the ocean slapping on the cliffs, the occasional car clacking over the expansion joints in the concrete.

No parties, no sirens, no cars, no screaming domestic stuff, no gunshots, no jets, no helicopters, no 400watt boomer honda civics telling me to bitchslap my mama, no light-up-the-night drift net diesel fishing boats pounding the air into visible pepper grains from 2 miles out.

Even the bimbos down at SeaWorld have stopped exhorting stuperous seals to jump through burning hoops of fire while they shake their booty to casio keyboard NSync covers. I can't even hear the train.

What's going on here? Did they pop the neutron bomb and i missed it? It's scary. Somebody go out there an DO something, spend some money, get in a fight and stab someone, get an EMS guy some overtime and get that cop out of the donut shop. The economy is going to collapse if you guys don't shake and bake right NOW!

See what i mean?